Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wooohooooo! It's my birthday today! I am 47!
Not sure why I put an exclamation mark after that last one, but you know what? Sod it. I've been on the planet for almost 50 years and actually that's a good thing. I know in our youth obsessed society age and experience are not things to be celebrated, and if I actually looked 47 I might be a bit less inclined to shout it from the rooftops, but after my face-lift I could easily pass for mid-30's so why the hell not celebrate being nearly 50?
It's not just the plastic surgery that's making me feel so positive, as I was meditating this morning I thought back to birthdays in the past. The ratio of good to bad ones is pretty equal about 50:50, but in recent years there's been more bad than good.
Broken hearts, death and illness, major depression have all been factors in previous birthdays, but over the last 3, things have gotten better and better. Two years ago I landed in Bangkok on my 45th, and that still stands out as a massive landmark birthday, last year it was Paris and my first post-gastric bypass birthday. I remember I was about 16 stones which is damn near double what I am today, but I felt sooooo good about myself because I was 16 st going down rather than 16 st going up.
I remember wearing a jacket I'd bought the last time I lost weight and while it was tight, it went on and that was a brilliant thing. That jacket is long gone now, it got too big for me about eight months ago, but I can still recall the exhilaration I felt as I got it on. Yesterday as I slipped into a size 8 dress that I plan to wear to dinner tonight, the feeling was just as strong. It's not about pleasing anyone else, its about feeling a sense of achievement, conquering an issue that has tormented me my whole life.
So here I am, older, wiser, smaller, happier and more calm than I've ever been. My body issues are almost at an end. It's two and a half weeks since the upper body surgery was done and thank goodness its all healing really well, and on Monday I have an appointment to see a surgeon about removing the 15 or so pounds of excess skin that remains on the bottom half. It's not even really a vanity thing you know, tho the desire to look good in a swimsuit is part of it, its about removing the outward signs of my years of self-harm.
In the next few months I've got a tour supporting my great friend Gina Yashere coming up, not to mention just being back on the circuit from next week - I can't believe how much I have missed gigging - I am sooooo looking forward to life!
That past is past, and the present is fantastic!
Not sure why I put an exclamation mark after that last one, but you know what? Sod it. I've been on the planet for almost 50 years and actually that's a good thing. I know in our youth obsessed society age and experience are not things to be celebrated, and if I actually looked 47 I might be a bit less inclined to shout it from the rooftops, but after my face-lift I could easily pass for mid-30's so why the hell not celebrate being nearly 50?
It's not just the plastic surgery that's making me feel so positive, as I was meditating this morning I thought back to birthdays in the past. The ratio of good to bad ones is pretty equal about 50:50, but in recent years there's been more bad than good.
Broken hearts, death and illness, major depression have all been factors in previous birthdays, but over the last 3, things have gotten better and better. Two years ago I landed in Bangkok on my 45th, and that still stands out as a massive landmark birthday, last year it was Paris and my first post-gastric bypass birthday. I remember I was about 16 stones which is damn near double what I am today, but I felt sooooo good about myself because I was 16 st going down rather than 16 st going up.
I remember wearing a jacket I'd bought the last time I lost weight and while it was tight, it went on and that was a brilliant thing. That jacket is long gone now, it got too big for me about eight months ago, but I can still recall the exhilaration I felt as I got it on. Yesterday as I slipped into a size 8 dress that I plan to wear to dinner tonight, the feeling was just as strong. It's not about pleasing anyone else, its about feeling a sense of achievement, conquering an issue that has tormented me my whole life.
So here I am, older, wiser, smaller, happier and more calm than I've ever been. My body issues are almost at an end. It's two and a half weeks since the upper body surgery was done and thank goodness its all healing really well, and on Monday I have an appointment to see a surgeon about removing the 15 or so pounds of excess skin that remains on the bottom half. It's not even really a vanity thing you know, tho the desire to look good in a swimsuit is part of it, its about removing the outward signs of my years of self-harm.
In the next few months I've got a tour supporting my great friend Gina Yashere coming up, not to mention just being back on the circuit from next week - I can't believe how much I have missed gigging - I am sooooo looking forward to life!
That past is past, and the present is fantastic!
Labels: Misc and TV
posted by JoJo Smith at Friday, March 28, 2008
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