Little Hitlers

So the weekend began with a first class trip from Euston as far as Wigan, followed by a little commuter train to Southport. It's 26 years since I was last there, and I have to say it hasn't changed a great deal.

I checked into the Bold Hotel, which was certainly well named, they were bold, if not audacious to ever consider this glorified B&B a hotel! Still, it was clean, tho the bed has a wobbliness about it I've never seen in anything other than a waterbed before.

I got ready and walked down to the gig, ahhhh The Southport Theatre, home of the Krankies and the like. I'll bet they've never seen anything like us! Found the guys at the pub across the road, then we all walked over to the theatre. It was a modern structure, well I say modern obviously built in the 70's - it had that bleakness about it.

The gig however was fantastic, not a sold out room, but 400 or so of greater Merseyside's lairiest birds!

Afterwards we went for a chinese meal where I learned of Martyn's addiction to Hoysin Sauce. He's such a sweet boy, I feel quite maternal towards him. Gawd I am getting old!

Friday morning we were up with the lark and bound for the glamour that is Blackpool International Airport. Bless them and their unrealistic aspirations! Its a shed!

There was much hassle at the Ryanair check-in, in spite of the fact that their agent had paid excess to get all the props on board, this officious witch decided to follow the rules to the letter and ended up charging poor Stewie the tour manager an extra £200. Funnily enough, she didn't seem to be able to find a piece of Ryanair headed note paper with their VAT registration number on it. How odd is that? Perhaps excess baggage is VAT exempt for big airlines eh?

This was followed by more little Hitlers at the security desk. The rules have been relaxed considerably, so basically the only thing you can't take on board is anything liquid. I had nothing liquid in my bag, so I figured I was cool. But no, witch number two, declared my Rose's Lip Balm to be a dangerous substance. Dangerous only to dry lips! I challenged it, as you can only get it at their little boutique in Leeds and I haven't got any Leeds gigs in the book for the forseeable future. The dozy twunt kept going on about no liquids and I said it was a balm, not a liquid, and she said I could still have something in it that was dangerous. I told her to smell it, it smells of roses not fucking Semtex!

It was at that point I looked around and saw two guys in kevlar vests armed with both machine and handguns so I bit my tongue. No doubt the bitch wanted it for herself, I hope she catches a cold sore!

Needless to say the flight was delayed by almost an hour, eating into our preparation time in Dublin, but we got there eventually and while the others when to the gig to set up, I headed off to the hotel and checked in.

It was a Jurys - which is an Irish chain - the first time I've ever actually stayed in one in Ireland tho. The room was fine, the same as you get in Southampton or Manchester or anywhere. In that respect, I kinda like chain hotels, you know what you are getting no matter where you are. I had time to unpack and even have a little nap before heading off to the theatre.