Seaside Special

Sunday morning, up with the lark and packing my case yet again. We were chauffered to the airport in a luxurious mini-coach, all leather reclining seats, provided by the festival organisers. Considering they sent an Espace to collect us on Friday, I guess they were happy with our performances!

The airport was heaving, and there was yet more hassle checking in with all the equipment, less than at Blackpool tho. On my way to be security searched, I bumped into Michael McIntyre who'd been doing a gig at the Laughter Lounge. He was less enthusiastic about his Dublin experience than I was about mine. I did get to meet his lovely missus and his absolutely gorgeous baby...made me quite broody for at least 45 seconds.

We got to Blackpool with bit of time to spare and drove along the sea-front to the hotel. As a kid I spent a great deal of time in Blackpool and it always felt magical and glamourous. Today those feelings are replaced with sadness. I know that the whole town is waiting to hear if they get one of the super-casinos, but fuck me they could start cleaning the place up anyway!

In daylight it looked like Hades in a Kiss Me Quick hat. The hotel had a very flash reception, the rooms were ok. I had to be at the theatre by 6.45, so I unpacked and had a long soak in the bath to chill out. I even managed a little nap.

As night fell and the Illuminations came on, the whole place took on a wonderful glow. The faded facades of the daytime Blackpool disappeared and it looked like a mini-Vegas. If only it was night-time all the time!

The Grand Theatre, home of Ken Dodd, Max Wall and a million other variety/comedy acts, was our home for the night. It was beautiful inside, a bit like the Olympia but slightly smaller, all red velvet and gold paintwork. I am definitely getting spoiled on this tour.

I was back to doing my full time and had just the best fun with the 800 strong crowd. On the front row there was an old man and a few seats down an old lady. I often do wonder what people think they are gonna see at one of these shows, but the old lady knew exactly what to expect! She hadn't seen cock since WW2 and was ready for some fresh meat!

For the boys, I would say it was the most raucous reception they'd had so far. The women were shameless, and poor Martyn was stopped in his tracks by one woman old enough to be his granny shouting out how beautiful he was! It was great to watch it.

After the show, the theatre programmer took my details saying he'd like to book me back there, and the theatre manager bought me a drink, I could end up Queen of the North Pier yet!

We were steered towards a chinese restaurant called the Mandarin, aparently the owner, Pauline, had been in the show and she loved it, so we were guaranteed a great reception.

They were right, it was the perfect venue for my farewell dinner with the crew. The food was delicious and Pauline was the perfect host. I don't really do restaurant plugs, but if you ever find yourself in Blackpool head to Clifton Street and enjoy a feast.

At the end of the meal as we sipped our 'After Eight' coffees we toasted and praised the hell out of each other. It was my last show but the lads have about another 2 months zig-zagging the UK with the wonderful Hattie Hayridge fluffing the crowd for them. She's a lucky girl.

It's a bit luvvie I know, but I wanna say a huge thanks to John who booked me in the first place, Dan, Martyn, Stu and Zoha for a fabulous weekend. See you guys soon I hope.