Q&A

Every so often I get asked to fill in a questionnaire for a local paper. In the past I've always taken them seriously but after a while it gets boring, so here's the latest one.


You will have seen me on...?

The bus or the train...I don't drive


Home is where?

My post gets delivered


My hobbies?

Rescuing small animals and saving orphans from the storm


My bad habits?

None I'm perfect in every single way


The best thing about this job is...?

Getting paid cash money to talk rubbish



The worst thing about this job is...?

Having to talk rubbish to get cash money


My worst job?

Hand


My worst gig?

The one where I was onstage naked and had no jokes. Oh wait, that was a dream and I stormed it!


When I grow up a want to be a??

Princess of course!


What's the last thing that made you laugh?

Being tickled


What irritates you the most?

Intolerance. I can't stand it!


What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

We are what we think


What music brings back the strongest memories for you?

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright



Who's your best friend?

The Buddha


My worst heckle??

Get off, you're s**t. From my boyfriend



The best one-liner??

One line was never enough, that's why I had to give up taking drugs


What's the world's biggest myth?

"It's better to give than receive" Only on Brokeback Mountain is that the case.


What would you like on your headstone?

Born 1961 Died 2161


Ricky Gervais or Little Britain?

Neither. Fresh Fields


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cos the path to enlightenment is never a straight line