Mind The Gap
Tuesday morning I was awake at 7am, my eyes all swollen from the tears, and just feeling about as depressed and scared as I have ever felt. When you catch people out in one little lie, its very hard to trust anything they tell you isn’t it? Imagine catching them out in several and still having to put your life in their hands, not a pleasant prospect I can assure you!
I got showered and dressed. Trousers and a sweatshirt cos the day ward is as cold as Siberia! I couldn’t wear my shoes cos there was no-one to help me do them up, so I’d have to put up with cold feet.
I was collected right on time and taken to the hospital. I said I felt that I should be taken to a private room, rather than that nasty day ward, and to her credit Jasmine had arranged it by the time we got there. At least I was among familiar faces on this ward, and the air conditioning wasn’t set to Arctic!
When Dr J came by, I said I couldn’t see the point in sewing me up again and releasing me back to the hotel right away, as even if I didn’t leave the room, I’d have to get up to go to the toilet etc. He said it was ok. I have to say I didn’t agree with him, but I was also aware of my tendency to become an “instant expert” on everything so I bit my tongue and didn’t argue. After all, he’s the one who studied medicine for years!
There must’ve been quite a few emergencies cos I didn’t get into the operating theatre till gone 1pm and while nerves prevented me from feeling hungry, I was thirsty as hell, not having had even a sip of water since 10pm last night!
As this was my third time being given general anaesthetic in less than two weeks, its safe to say I’ve built up a nice little phobia about it now. The pain it causes when they stick the shunt in your hand, the even greater pain as the cold drug eases it’s way through your veins before it finally knocks you out, all horrible stuff and I went under shaking and crying like a baby!
The next thing I knew I was back in the recovery room, feeling incredibly sore! I don’t know what he did, but it was a helluva lot more than he did last time!
They took me back to my private room, it was gone 3pm by then, so no way I was gonna be back at the hotel before 5pm. I asked one of the nurses what time I’d get out and she said tomorrow. I was confused to say the least, but the long and short of it is, apparently I was right! It did make more sense to put a catheter in and confine me to bed for 24 hours to give the skin a chance to knit together. Of course I was completely unprepared for a prolonged stay in hospital, but a couple of morphine injections dealt with that! I slept right through till Wednesday morning, yay morphine!
So, apparently he’s sewn and re-sewn every hole, with both internal and external stitches, I’m confined to the hotel for a couple of days and on vallium to help me sleep. I feel a lot better than I did on Monday night/Tuesday morning but that’s probably down to Mother’s Little Helper. The fact is as of today I have less than six days to heal completely or I will have to extend my stay, as I know full well that no NHS doctor will help me at home and I reckon I’d be hard pressed to find a private one who’d touch it either.
It’s a lesson I’ve needed to learn I guess. In spite of what the websites tell you, this is serious major surgery, not a holiday where you’re just ‘getting a bit of work done’. All too often it’s dressed up as no more serious than getting your nails done, but it is more serious as I’m finding out, and the fact that this is something I chose to have done to myself only makes it worse, you know? I feel like a stupid, vain, bimbo for believing the b/s on the website and for wanting the work done in the first place. Maybe in a few weeks’ time when its all healed and this pain is just a memory, I’ll think differently, but right now I have to say this is the biggest regret of my life.
Having said that, I recall years ago looking at a photo of Naomi Campbell in a bikini and seeing that gap at the top of her thighs. I didn’t know people had thighs that didn’t at least meet, if not rub together! I remember five years ago telling my personal trainer my sole target was a gap like Naomi Campbell’s.
Well folks, guess what? I’ve got the gap! But at what price?
I got showered and dressed. Trousers and a sweatshirt cos the day ward is as cold as Siberia! I couldn’t wear my shoes cos there was no-one to help me do them up, so I’d have to put up with cold feet.
I was collected right on time and taken to the hospital. I said I felt that I should be taken to a private room, rather than that nasty day ward, and to her credit Jasmine had arranged it by the time we got there. At least I was among familiar faces on this ward, and the air conditioning wasn’t set to Arctic!
When Dr J came by, I said I couldn’t see the point in sewing me up again and releasing me back to the hotel right away, as even if I didn’t leave the room, I’d have to get up to go to the toilet etc. He said it was ok. I have to say I didn’t agree with him, but I was also aware of my tendency to become an “instant expert” on everything so I bit my tongue and didn’t argue. After all, he’s the one who studied medicine for years!
There must’ve been quite a few emergencies cos I didn’t get into the operating theatre till gone 1pm and while nerves prevented me from feeling hungry, I was thirsty as hell, not having had even a sip of water since 10pm last night!
As this was my third time being given general anaesthetic in less than two weeks, its safe to say I’ve built up a nice little phobia about it now. The pain it causes when they stick the shunt in your hand, the even greater pain as the cold drug eases it’s way through your veins before it finally knocks you out, all horrible stuff and I went under shaking and crying like a baby!
The next thing I knew I was back in the recovery room, feeling incredibly sore! I don’t know what he did, but it was a helluva lot more than he did last time!
They took me back to my private room, it was gone 3pm by then, so no way I was gonna be back at the hotel before 5pm. I asked one of the nurses what time I’d get out and she said tomorrow. I was confused to say the least, but the long and short of it is, apparently I was right! It did make more sense to put a catheter in and confine me to bed for 24 hours to give the skin a chance to knit together. Of course I was completely unprepared for a prolonged stay in hospital, but a couple of morphine injections dealt with that! I slept right through till Wednesday morning, yay morphine!
So, apparently he’s sewn and re-sewn every hole, with both internal and external stitches, I’m confined to the hotel for a couple of days and on vallium to help me sleep. I feel a lot better than I did on Monday night/Tuesday morning but that’s probably down to Mother’s Little Helper. The fact is as of today I have less than six days to heal completely or I will have to extend my stay, as I know full well that no NHS doctor will help me at home and I reckon I’d be hard pressed to find a private one who’d touch it either.
It’s a lesson I’ve needed to learn I guess. In spite of what the websites tell you, this is serious major surgery, not a holiday where you’re just ‘getting a bit of work done’. All too often it’s dressed up as no more serious than getting your nails done, but it is more serious as I’m finding out, and the fact that this is something I chose to have done to myself only makes it worse, you know? I feel like a stupid, vain, bimbo for believing the b/s on the website and for wanting the work done in the first place. Maybe in a few weeks’ time when its all healed and this pain is just a memory, I’ll think differently, but right now I have to say this is the biggest regret of my life.
Having said that, I recall years ago looking at a photo of Naomi Campbell in a bikini and seeing that gap at the top of her thighs. I didn’t know people had thighs that didn’t at least meet, if not rub together! I remember five years ago telling my personal trainer my sole target was a gap like Naomi Campbell’s.
Well folks, guess what? I’ve got the gap! But at what price?
Labels: Travel
posted by JoJo Smith at Thursday, October 23, 2008
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