Smokin!

It's comes to us all I guess. That point where you realise that you aint getting any younger and that if you don't start taking care of your body, mind and soul, you're not gonna have much of an old age, and what bit you do have is gonna be wracked by illness.

Over the last six years I've given up alcohol, drugs, excessive shopping, chocolate, and sex (the latter is a temporary thing I hope, I just need some relationship free time to sort out my life, and I've learned over the years that there is nothing casual about 'casual sex' for me).

I have one major vice left....smoking.

I've been smoking since I was 21. It was really difficult to get into it, but I forced myself to persevere, cos I did (and still do) think it looks cool. However, after 24 years of pumping nicotine into my lungs and bloodstream, I have a smoker's cough, and there's bugger all sexy or cool about that!

I've tried to give up twice before. Once was 16 years ago, I watched the Alan Carr "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" video and gave up for four months, then I got drunk in a bar in New York and had 'just the one'. I learned that there's no such thing, and I was back on 'em again.

The second time was 18 months ago when I went for hypnotherapy. My mum was dying from lung cancer, so what bigger incentive did I need to give up?

This hypnotherapist had done the business with a comedy chum of mine, so I was full of expectation. So was he. He told me that if the first session didn't work, he'd give me a second one for free. I'd never been hypnotised before so didn't know what to expect, however I felt that an overwhelming desire for a fag was not what you were supposed to be feeling while you were in the 'trance'.

I left his office, and immediately wanted to smoke, I resisted the rest of that day and night and went back to see him the next day for the free session. That did bugger all too, and after 48 hours I was feeling suicidal. I decided it was better to have a fag than kill myself (the reality being in the long run fags'll do the job for ya), and put all thoughts of giving up out of my mind.

My main reason for wanting to quit was less the health aspect, it was the exorbitant cost that was motivating me. When I think that like £4 of every £5 packet goes to Tony Blair to fund illegal wars around the world, it makes me feel sick. So on January 1 I decided that from now on, at least I wasn't gonna buy cigarettes in this country. Luckily I was in Dubai when I made this decision, so I stocked up on £7 cartons of 200 and brought em home.

I've been away a lot so far this year so I managed to stick to my resolution. Until last Thursday. I smoked the last of the cheapos, and now came the crunch.

Just stopping seemed a bit drastic, but I can halve what I currently smoke, I decided.

And that's what I've begun to do. I was smoking 40 a day which is ridiculous. I would say that 30 of those cigarettes I'm not even aware of smoking. I just light up mindlessly, endlessly.

Yesterday I made a pact to smoke no more than two an hour, and I did it! Kinda. I was up at 9am and went to bed at 2.30am, and I smoked 27 ciggies as opposed to the 40 (at least) I woulda gone through on a gig day. So far today I've stuck to it too. My goal for the coming week is to get down to no more than 20 a day, and keep reducing, till I get bored and just stop.

I'm becoming more aware of each cigarette and how they make me feel, I reckon if I really put my mind to it, I can do this!

Wish me luck.