Kate Frickkin Moss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, yesterday I was feeling tons better and decided to pop down to Notting Hill Gate to get some groceries. It was soooooo cold I decided I needed a warm parka for winter. Went into the Gap to check out the one I'd seen in their ads, but they didn't have it at that branch.

Hopped on the tube to Bond St and went to the big Oxford St store. Tried on a medium, it was mahooosive! Tried on a small and that swamped me too. Now I know they're working this oversized look for the winter, but after what I've been through I don't really wanna hide my light under a bushell, ya know?

I went wandering up the road, checked out H&M, Zara, even bloody M&S! No black parkas to be found anywhere. I did find myself in Oasis where I bought myself a sexy lil silver metal belt. Decided to have a look in TopShop, they were bound to have what I wanted surely?

Well no. But they did have the new Kate Moss range. I'd seen a photo of her wearing this shiny, black, slinky, long, dress and loved it. When I was 20 stones I used to joke that I wanted to be Kate Moss and now here I was looking at her clothes that were in sizes that technically would fit me.

I'm still not convinced that I'm slim, so I rifled through the rail and found the frock in a 16. My thinking was a KM 16 would be a normal person's 12. I did something I've not done in about 30 years, took it to the changing room and tried it on! In the past I would buy something, take it home and if it didn't fit - usually cos it was too small - I'd put it away and chalk it up to experience.

Anyway, the 16 was hanging off me! Enormous! The one I'd seen her wearing was loose on her so I figured it wasn't meant to be skin tight, but this was ridiculous. I got dressed and handed it back to the changing room assistant, and uttered words I never thought I'd hear coming out of my mouth 'Its too big'. Best of all she didn't burst out laughing!

I went back to the rail and found a 14, I figured that probably would be a bit big too but I just couldn't make myself pick up a 12, how mad is that?

Wandered over to the shoe department and got a fab pair of biker boots in a size 5, as the ones I've had for years are a 6 and too big for me too. These fit perfectly, and actually cost less than the pair I bought 20 years ago. Another bonus is, these are 'fashion' ones so unlike my oldies, they don't have a steel toe, making em much lighter to wear.

When I eventually got home, I tried the frock on, and it is loose, but in an ok way, though of course if I lose much more weight it'll be too big...perhaps I'll have to boil wash it.

I looked at myself in the mirror and my goodness! I truly didn't look like me! I looked tall, slim and sexy! Blimey!

Mind you, I still don't look like Kate Moss, even in one of her frocks!