What Kind of F**kery Is This?

Soooooo once again I braved the insanity and pettiness that is the security at our airports for my weekend in Glasgow.

I flew from Gatwick this time, I'd forgotten how crappy that airport is! Anyway there's the usual no liquids, no lighters rubbish. Someone is onto a good deal here and I suspect its the manufacturers of disposable lighters!

I saw one guy being told to deposit his obviously very expensive gold lighter into the bin and refusing, he's probably still there trying to get some sense out of one of the security droids that run tings these days.

At most other airports now they're not doing the 'take off the shoes' bit and there were no signs at Gatwick telling us to do so, do instead they told you just as you were about to go through the metal detector, making sure that queues stayed nice and long. Of course, once you're through you can buy as much liquid or as many lighters as you like.

Now call me suspicious, but surely if you were determined to blow up a plane you'd have some kind of network whereby you could pick up your Toothpaste of Mass Destruction on the other side of security? Therefore taking our bits of toiletries off us serves no purpose at all.

From today they've decided to allow us 100 mls of toothpaste, I guess that's not enough to blow up a whole plane, how fucking ridiculous. Blair and his band of merry wankers are using some very real tragedies to abuse the most minute of our personal freedoms and we are all just taking it.

I did think of protesting a couple of months back that my Rose's Apothecary LipBalm did indeed smell of roses and not Semtex, but the fucker in the kevlar jacket with the primed machine gun, made me think twice.

If we were reading about this happening to inhabitants of some dictatorship, we'd be up in arms about personal freedom being curtailed, but we just take it. I can't see a way out, we are already the most watched nation in the world, and once the identity cards are introduced, everything about us will be known to this bunch of people who are meant to work for us, not the other way round.

Anyway the gigs were fab, the bill was me as MC, Neil Delamare, Dougie Dunlop and my brother from another mother Smug Roberts. We all had a cracking time both nights, and I didn't go mad in the shops, so success all round.

Now that I've got the rant out of the way, I also wanna take this opportunity to big up Amy Winehouse's incredible new album Back to Black, if you love the Phil Spector sound you will think you've died and gone to heaven.

The best thing of all about the weekend tho was the return to our screens of the magnificent Planet Earth. Lots of cute baby Polar bears, Humpback whales, and best of all billions of penguins and baby penguins!!!!!