Edinburgh and Beyond

First of all dear readers, apologies for not blogging for a while. I do have a good excuse, I was in Edinburgh minus the laptop for six nights last week, and only got home on Sunday afternoon.

The shows were up and down, but I still had a wonderful week. It was a cracking bill, Steve Harris, Daliso Chaponda, and my old mucker John Fothergill. As John and I are smokers we had to find alternative accomodation, cos the hotel the club uses doesn't have any smoking rooms at all. We stayed in the Ramada on Princes Street which turned out to be the perfect choice. The staff were chilled, the rooms warm and comfy and, in John's case, spacious. Mine was slightly more compact, in fact I had to move furniture to do my crunches in the mornings!

The best part of where we were staying was the view from our windows. Princes St Gardens had one of those German Xmas Markets that seem to be in every city centre these days, with the added bonus of a mini fairground, loads of Christmas lights and great views of the Castle. I felt really Christmassy!

Edinburgh has other wonderful benefits too, such as a rather well-stocked Harvey Nichols, and I sure made good use of that! I got the biggest thrill of all when I spent an hour trying on expensive designer dresses with absolutely no pressure from the sales staff. I didn't buy any of them, just the thrill of being able to fit into tiny little frocks was enough. Of course I did succumb to my handbag habit, treating myself to a shiny, black python skin Zagliani 'Puffy' bag. It had only come into the shop that morning, and 90 minutes later it was hanging off my arm! I love the idea that these handbags have been injected with silicone to keep the skins soft, it'll match my new tits when I get em next March! Tho hopefully, my boobs won't have the same texture as the handbag!

It was bloody freezing up there and luckily the sales have started early, so I hit George Street on Saturday afternoon and treated myself to a fabulous long, thick, zip-up cardie with pink reindeers on it in the FCUK sale. I've worn it every night this week under my black Gap Parka which claims to be a size "S" but woulda fit me before I had my bypass!

I also got myself a little Xmas treat in the form of some gorgeous diamond earrings. I'd been looking for a pair for ages, but I didn't want studs cos I know I'd lose one in no time, anyway it turns out jewellery shops have sales too, and I got the perfect pair in Mappin & Webb, which to be honest I'd have paid full price for, but these beauties had almost £1000 off the original price! Definitely a sign. They look gorgeous too.

I blame Damien Hirst for my current diamond addiction, ever since I saw that skull, I've become obsessed with them. It was so hypnotic, I think it's put a spell on me!

Monday saw me begin my last week of Xmas shows at the Comedy Cafe in good old London! Yay, sleeping in my own bed every night, and a chance to get all my chores done. Monday I got my hair done, and had a little Primark fix - they don't have one in Edinburgh for some reason - so I was suffering serious withdrawal symptoms. Tuesday I got my nails done and did all the boring stuff like paying bills and paying cheques into the bank, and today I had an epiphany!

I went for a consultation to see about getting my eyebrows tattooed on. At the age of 11 I grabbed my mum's tweezers and hid myself in the bathroom, plucking and plucking till they were one hair thick! As the years have passed I've grown a few more hairs in, but a lifetime's over plucking means that what hairs are there are pretty sparse, and I even have the odd white hair growing in there! The make-up artist on Comedy Blue suggested I get em tattooed on, and then I saw Ninia Benjamin get hers done on Celebrity Scissorhands. That was enough to convince me, and I did a search till I found Debra Robson-Lawrence's site. She comes recommended by my plastic surgeon, so I figured she was the one to choose.

Today she drew on the eyebrows for me to see if I wanted to get em done permanently. After the first one, she handed me the mirror, my god, what a huge difference!!!!! It was like two different faces! She matched the other one up and I was blown away by the result. It gives my whole face a lift. So I booked myself in for the full treatment, and will start the New Year with new brows.

The gigs this week have been cool, Monday and Tuesday I did sets, going on first. As Christmas shows tend to be full of people who don't normally go to comedy, I had to reign myself in a bit. I didn't wanna terrify the poor souls!

After last night's gig I dashed over to Bow Jongleurs to finally catch up with my old mate Gina Yashere. She's over for the festive period and boy, was it great to see her! She looks incredible! Really skinny, really gorgeous and glowing...LA obviously agrees with her. Paul Tonkinson and Ricky Grover were also on the bill, so it was like a night out for me, getting to see some of my favourite comedians. Ricky is on top form at the moment.

Tonight I got to the gig and was told I was MC'ing cos the line-up had changed. John Moloney was ill, so we had a replacement in the form of Ricky! I aint seen him all year then twice in one week, what a treat!

So that's the last 10 or so days, wrapped up. Two more shows to go before I get a whole six days off, I can't wait!!!!!!!