You Know Me...

I rarely seem to praise hotels these days. I think the cutbacks worldwide mean that the places chosen by promoters for us comedians to stay are going downhill fast, as the budgets contract.

People who follow me on social media (MissJoJoSmith on Twitter), will have read me kicking off about the horrors of the Ibis Budget and Britannia hotels - both in Manchester ironically - in the last few weeks. In my opinion neither are qualified to call themselves hotels.

Anyway all of that is history, because this week I was blessed by the hotel gods at long last. 

First the back story, as soon as I read that my architecture idol Frank Gehry had designed the Fondation Louis Vuitton in Paris I was planning my visit. Once it was open to the public I set to booking an awayday specifically to see it. I've made pilgrimages in the past, both in Bilbao and New York City, hell I even bought the rings he designed for Tiffany! The new one promised to be something special.

My first sight of Frank Gehry's latest masterpiece

Eurostar were having one of their 'deals' and so I got straight on and booked. Unfortunately when I was clicking on the return journey, I clicked for the following day. I didn't even realise until I picked up the boarding passes a couple of weeks later. I quickly checked if I could change my ticket, but of course I couldn't, so I looked at booking a new return. That was going to cost more than the entire return ticket. So I went hotel hunting. 

I found the Mercure at Gare du Nord - http://www.accorhotels.com/gb/hotel-8575-mercure-Paris-gare-du-nord-la-fayette-hotel/index.shtml - on a bookings website for £60, way cheaper than the new train ticket, and ironically the same price as the dreadful "no hot water" Britannia per night. I know the area around the station isn't great, the seediness level more than matches the Kings Cross area here, but all I really needed was a place to sleep and shower, so I booked it.

On Monday morning I arrived in Paris at 11am and went across the road - literally across the road - to the hotel with a view to asking if I could store my bag till check-in opened at 2pm. As soon as I walked in the staff were smiling at me like I was some kind of celebrity, which of course I'm not (I don't think they showed Comedy Blue or Funny Business on French telly). The guy on reception told me a room was already ready for me and checked me in swiftly. I wasn't expecting much, but was very pleasantly surprised. Nice big comfy bed, decent sized bathroom, cable tv with a couple of English speaking channels and most importantly a kettle AND free wifi. In this day and age wifi is no longer a 'luxury' and any hotel who charges for it, should hang their head in shame. Even the appalling Ibis Budget gives free wifi! 

I freshened up - I even put a bit of make-up on in honour of Mr Gehry - and made my way to the Bois de Boulogne. Another benefit of staying so close to the station is the great metro connections. I practically ran down the road to the gallery I was so excited. My first glimpse made my heart soar in a way it hasn't for a very long time.

Sadly, as I got closer another sight detracted from the beauty, and that was the size of the queue to get in. I hadn't pre-booked because I wanted to be free to go when I wanted to, but now I was regretting that. I spoke to one of the queue marshalls who assured me there was at least a two hour wait to get in. 'Come back at four, there's nobody here then' she advised and so I buggered off.

I jumped on the little electric bus and made my way to my favourite Paris shop, Colette. I totally love this shop it sells everything you never knew you wanted - http://www.colette.fr - needless to say I didn't leave empty handed! 

I found a cafe afterwards and filled up on some delicious pasta and coffee (not very French I know) before heading back to the Fondation. By now it was gone 4pm and the queue looked just as big! I explained that I'd made a special pilgrimage to see it, and as they were closed on Tuesdays, this was my only chance to get in.

Waterfall steps

The young woman took pity on me and showed me the secret back entrance where there was no queue. Here's a hint folks if you're going, buy a €3 ticket for the Jardin de Acclimation next door, and then walk round, you'll be in in minutes!

I can't tell you how wonderful this place is, I had a big old, shit-eating, grin on my face the entire two hours I was in there. I took a ton of photos and even managed to check out some of the art on display.

One of the highlights for me was at the very top of the building there's an outdoor viewing terrace and from there I saw a Paris I never knew existed, you see the entire skyline, and it's all shiny skyscrapers and flashing lights. I can't say I've ever thought of Paris as a modern city before, but there it is for all to see.

Unfortunately for me, closing time came all too soon, and I was left to wander back towards the hotel.

Selfie at Le Fondation Louis Vuitton

By now my ageing bones were letting me know that I'd done plenty for the day, so I stopped off at a deli and got some glorious stinky brie and crackers and headed back.

A hot shower, painkillers and cheese are the cure for all ills in my book and I'll be honest, I was fast asleep by 9pm!

I've got to say it was one of the best sleeps I've had in ages. I'd expected the hotel to be noisy both inside and out and there was nothing. My room was at the back of the hotel so there was no road noise, and everyone on my floor was as quiet as church mice. I heard nothing till my alarm went off the next morning.

On checking out, they were more than happy to store my bag till the evening, and I sauntered off for a day of Rive Gauche-style wandering.

Beautiful old door decorated with Indian swastikas

Having been told by my chum Ian Moore that today was a Bank Holiday in France (for Remembrance Day) I was expecting things to be busier than usual and they were. I decided against a trip to the refurbished Picasso Museum figuring the crowds would be just too great, and instead just strolled around the Left Bank. I found a shop I'd seen online that stocked the "gold" Thai temple bracelets, so I picked up one of those.

I spent hours wandering around the side streets and almost as long wandering around the most wonderful department store in Paris, Le Bon Marche. Somehow I left there with some divine Celine sunglasses and a new signature scent courtesy of Byredo. I almost bought a bright orange Givenchy Pandora bag, but at the last moment decided against it. Obviously, in JoJoWorld that means I've 'saved' over a grand!

I was so thrilled with my thriftiness that I splurged on dinner at Le Deux Maggots, just to say I'd eaten there. I think the handbag might have been a better buy.

Soon enough it was time to head back to London, I collected my bag, all safe and sound at the most fabulous hotel, and did the whole check-in thing at Gare du Nord. Safe to say I slept like a baby the whole way home - both my soul and my materialistic side satiated in a mere 48 Parisian hours.

The earth moved