Cor Blimey Guv! It's All Happening!

So, the plan was to carry on catching up with my adventures in Cambodia. I posted the first part and then went off to Vietnam for some ca phe (coffee with condensed milk) and pho bo (beef noodle soup). I know it seems a bit pretentious not just saying the bits in brackets but I love both of these things so much I don't want to trivialise them, so I use the correct Vietnamese words too. But then I don't want to be a prat so I translated them. 

Anyway back in the world. While I was away I got an email telling me that if I really, really, really wanted to make my solo Edinburgh Fringe debut, I had until next Wednesday (16/03) to fill in my registration form and hand over the 'discount' price of £300 for the pleasure.

As hopped up on caffeine and bovine bliss as I was, my hotel in Saigon was not the place to be carrying out such an endeavour. So I saw the sights, had a fabulous mani/pedi that still looks new almost a week later, and did what people do in that fantastic city.

Friday (yesterday) was my to do day. I was too knackered when I got home Thursday night to do much of anything, except load the washer (God I love having a washing machine when I'm away!). 

I was up bright and early, and did everything I could possibly do to distract myself from just sitting down and filling out this bloody form. All my fears about performing at the Fringe kept bubbling up like the worst kind of indigestion, and after all I had errands to run. 

Finally I ran out of distractions, so I switched the laptop on - this was no job for the iPhone no matter how advanced it was - and clicked on the link in the email.

It opened up the page and at first - for about a whole 30 seconds - it seemed simple. Then I began to do things other than type my name. The lovely man who is enabling this show to happen is currently in Adelaide where he's producing other shows, but I had no idea who else to contact when the fifth, or sixth, or was it the seventh hurdle brought me to a complete stop. 

He was actually in a show so couldn't do much to help, I posted a plea on Facebook and the only reply I got was from my good mate Martin Mor who had got himself in a bind with it all the other day. Nothing else to do, I clicked on the 'contact us' part of the page and within seconds an amazing person called Alix at the Fringe Office had remotely accessed my details, asked me for the info that I wasn't able to enter, and in the time it took me to have a wee, s/he had done it all for me! 

All that was left was to click on the 'pay us the money' page, and once that was done and my payment went through. I was spent. It'd taken me the best part of four hours to fill in this sodding form and my brain - still full of soup, coffee and sunshine - was burnt out. So much so, that I fell asleep about 9.30 last night and woke up about an hour ago, at 5pm! 

Then I noticed another email telling me to check and accept the proof, so I've just completed that and sent it off. All done.

Just time to write the show now!

Here's the first of many plugs folks

JoJo Smith

I Was Mick Jones' Bank Clerk

Upstairs at Cabaret Voltaire

18.45pm

15-28 August (inc)

Whasssss 'Appenin? Part One

Well then, it's been almost three weeks since I blogged. That has gone fast.

I've been getting about. I've been gigging! Get me!

First off I went to Cambodia for a week of gigging and ligging. It all began beautifully with an easy flight from Chiang Mai to Phnom Penh via Bangkok. It appears you can't even go to the loo without going via Bangkok over here. 

Anyway the flight was only 30 minutes delayed which is good going for Air Asia, and I was met by the magnificent Mr Dee, tuk tuk driver extraordinaire, and Daniel-Ryan Spaulding my co-star for the week. 

Luckily we weren't gigging that night so once we'd checked in at our fabulous hotel, the House Boutique Hotel, we had time to freshen up, and have a leisurely dinner with one of our hosts and bookers, the lovely Dan Riley. 

 Fabulous framed album sleeve

He took us off in Mr Dee's mean machine for a Cambodian feast, and it truly was. Of course I've forgotten the names of all the dishes but there wasn't a damn thing that wasn't amazing. We were joined for the meal by my old comedy chum Tony Morewood who is living a life of leisure in Phnom Penh these days, as well as dipping his toe back into the murky waters of stand-up.

It was a night of many beers for the lads, water for me, memories and reminiscences, as well as finding out the lay of the land from both Dan and Tony. We also got to meet our MC/tour manager for the week, Sam Thomas, a young American comedian with a great future ahead of him I believe.

The day's events caught up with me and I bailed around midnight, falling into my very comfy bed.

Early up the next morning as we had a four (plus) hour bus ride to Sihanoukville for the first show. Our vehicle - provided by another of the tour's sponsors Giant Ibis - was pretty cool and as comfy as any vehicle can be that you're sat in for a prolonged period of time. Of course every time I thought of the name I also thought of the Ibis hotel chain, but I can assure you these buses were way better.

We arrived at the beachside town of Sihanoukville around 3.30 and found the gig. This was made easier by Sam having been there before. There was a huge big poster outside but inside nobody seemed to be expecting us. Eventually we found someone who knew we were coming and they guided us towards the hotel. The hotel weren't expecting us either, I was sensing a theme developing. It says something about the experience when I say I can't recall the name of the hotel, I've stayed in worse for sure but it was the least lovely of the tour.

We went over to the gig early and met yet another "cook" *. Considering how many organisers this gig had it was possibly in my top 10 of disorganised gigs ever.

We found one guy who ironically was completely new to it all, and thus the most amenable. We set up a gig, there was even an audience and I got my first shock. Not only is smoking almost compulsory in Cambodia, and at £1 a pack I can see why, it's positively encouraged indoors! 

This was my first time ever doing a gig in a smoky room as a non-smoker, and now I totally get why my non-smoking friends used to complain back in the day. I had to shower when I got back to the hotel, the smell on my clothes and hair was just vile.

The gig, while certainly not vile, could've been better from all sides to be honest. The room was unsuitable, the audience mostly dragged in not knowing what to expect - and given that it seems to be perfectly ok to smoke dope openly - not caring much either. I was a bit freaked out by the whole experience but still managed to get some laughs thanks to the unstoned people in the room.

After breakfast the next morning I was happy to say goodbye to Sihanoukville. Perhaps under different circumstances it's a pleasurable place to visit, but it's not on my list of places to return to.


* As in too many of them spoil the frikken gig