Frenzy!!!!!!!!!

Leaving White Cube yesterday I decided to have a wander round the shops of Old Bond St and beyond.

It's been years since I've been down here, and it was always a place were I felt terribly working class and common and like I didn't belong here. Of course now I am older, wiser, a lot fitter and like myself a whole lot more so I have to say I had none of those feelings this time.

And, of course, it was sale time! I found a gorgeous pair of shoes in the Camper sale, just perfect for onstage if the rain ever stops, and soooo girly and comfy at the same time. The really cool bit about the shoes is that they're a size five, and I am usually a size six. Seems in losing weight, I've lost a shoe size too!

Next stop was Tiffany. I had no intentions of buying anything but I did want to check out the Frank Gehry collection. Ever since I visited the Guggenheim in Bilbao I've been an avid fan of his work, so was intrigued to see what his jewellery looked like. Some of it was just ok, but then I spotted the Torque collection. The shapes reminded me totally of his buildings, and after drooling on the display case for a few minutes, this really cool sales assistant asked if I wanted to try anything. I was gazing at the rings and asked to try one of those on, if they had them big enough.

The back story here is that all of my jewellery in the past has either had to be made specially for me or enlarged. I have a few pieces from Tiffany from years ago and all of them cost me extra to be made bigger. I've never dared even try a ring on in there before, cos I knew they would never fit.

She brought out this gorgeous silver ring in a size 13 and as I put it on, it fell right off again. We kept going down in half sizes till finally the size 10 fitted my middle finger! I've never found a ring big enough to fit that finger before! As if the sheer joy of being 'normal' when it comes to jewellery purchases wasn't enough, it looked great on me too! Following a little chat about what a great architect Gehry is, I handed over the dosh for the ring. The way I see it, I'll never own one of his buildings, but at least I now have a piece of his jewellery!

I'd said in my last blog that seeing all those diamonds on the Skull had been like being hypnotised or drugged in some way, and it's definitely true, cos next thing I knew I was wandering round Harvey Nicholls! It's sale time there too and 40 minutes' later I was staggering down the road with a Burberry Prorsum handbag and a Smythson snakeskin travel wallet!!!!!! Both were incredible bargains, the bag way over half price and just totally timeless and gorgeous. The travel wallet in bright green will make my flights on easyJet feel glamourous.

In JoJo world, I didn't spend a fortune yesterday, I SAVED a fortune! I love being a girl! We have the coolest minds ever.

Damien Hirst's Skull

Or 'For The Love of God' to give it its proper title, is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Probably not for the usual arty reasons, hey I'm far too shallow for that! But it was a real event.

Got there about 9.55, my ticket was for 10am, and as anyone who knows me knows I am always anally early for everything! I was determined not to miss my chance to see this. Had to have my booking number checked off and then join a queue. There was a couple in front of me, nice to know I'm not the most anal person here today!

Very smart (and quite handsome) security guards searched my handbag, before letting us into the gallery - thank god it was dry and sunny yesterday morning! Then as about 12 of us were led up some stairs we were given 'the talk'. No photos, no bags allowed in the room, only 2-3 minutes to view it, etc etc.

The room where the skull is kept is pitch black apart from the lights in the glass case. Once I got used to the darkness, I became aware of the incredible colours coming off the 8601 diamonds embedded into the platinum skull. It was like being hypnotised!

Like all girls, I love a diamond, and even own a couple, but I've never before seen this many in one place and it was like a drug! The brilliance of them was incredible. They cover the entire skull, even up inside the nasal cavity and inside the mouth! Then there's the big f**k off one on the forehead which when I was gazing at it seemed to have the imprint of another skull in it - probably a trick of the light or my aging eyes.

What stops this being just another Hip Hopper's wet dream is the addition of the original teeth. That makes it human and you realise it is the head of someone who died. I found it incredibly moving.

We were ushered out, and led down to check out the rest of the works at this branch of White Cube. The entire collection is called Beyond Belief and the other half over at Hoxton Square is on my list of places to visit very soon. Here, as you walk into the main gallery, you are faced with a white dove - mid-flight - suspended in formaldehyde. It's incredibly beautiful and full of hope.

Around the room there's a series of paintings of his son's birth by caesarian section, and I realised that these are the first 'proper' paintings I've ever seen by Damien Hirst. He's an incredible painter! They are so realistic they look like photos from a distance.

Then there's the Biopsy Paintings. based on biopsy images of different forms of cancer and terminal illnesses. I'd checked em out on the White Cube website, but believe me those photos do them no justice. They are gorgeous! The colours are so vivid, and there's shards of broken glass and scalpel blades embedded into the paint making them all glittery and shiny, and fabulous. They're huge, one of them would fill the entire wall in most homes. Just stunning, especially the pink ones which look kind of Indian...I want one!

There's a few butterfly pieces which I also love, and the new shark. This one disected down the middle and kept in two seperate tanks, you can walk down the middle of them and see its innards and those horrible shark teeth. There's also a black sheep on its own which made me feel sad and what looks like a two headed cow, but I'm sure isn't.

The contrast between the dead things and the vivid images of birth really worked for me, the cycle of life and all that. The Dalai Lama describes the body as a suit that gets worn out over time, so a dead body is not the person, just the vehicle that transports the consciouness around in this lifetime. Seeing those dead animals kinda proves that for me.

The final 'statement' piece is viewed on the way out. Its a cow's heart ( ithink) bleached white, with white feathers like a pair of wings and a silver dagger through it...it looks like a tattoo made flesh, and its just sooooooooo stunning! Absolutely wonderful.

Sooooooooooooo Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to see Damien Hirst's skull this morning!

Fifty million quid's worth of diamonds and platinum!!!!!

I'm a bit moist at the thought of it!

Happy Anniversary To Me!!!!!!!!!

So, 14 years ago today I set foot on a stage for the first time as a performer. It was at a club called the VD Clinic opposite Pentonville Prison here in London.

As it was the Sunday of Glastonbury weekend, my material centred around the festival and the whole 'crusty' thing that was so popular at the time.

As debuts go I don't recall it being dreadful, but it wasn't a Hollywood-style 'Star Is Born' kinda way, but it was enough to make me keep going.

Fourteen years on, I've got Sunday night off, having just returned from an amazing weekend of gigs in Edinburgh. The bill lived up to previous expectations, last night especially we kinda started on a high and just kept getting higher and higher as the night went on.

The downsides of the weekend were the abominable weather, it peed down the whole time. The hotel which I'd been told was a million times better than the old one, but was in fact all style and no substance.Fabulous foyer and common parts, shitty dingy rooms.

My room reeked of stale piss and sweat, and I've returned home covered in tiny little red bites all over my body. Added to that, the Paramount Hotel Group have decided in their wisdom to make the entire hotel non-smoking. Not one single smoking room. Now I am all for a ban in public places, but for two days this was my home and I had to go out to the street every time I wanted a smoke. The irony of all of this is, if they'd allowed me to smoke in the room I wouldn't have been able to smell the piss and sweat, and probably woulda been able to smoke the bedbugs outta the joint!


Rainy old Edinburgh

Anyway, whinging aside, after 14 years telling jokes would I change anything...nope.

I have met some incredible people, been to some amazing places, and had tons of wonderful times. Here's to the next 14 years!

Good Friends

This week I've spent some real quality time with some very good friends. There are times we take people for granted, so caught up with our lives - work, relationships, all kinds of crap - but every now and again we get a chance to really connect with the people around us.

God I sound like a right old hippy don't I?

Well douse me in patchouli oil cos I don't care. Apart from the people I know like me, I had a couple of instances where people I didn't even realise were friends have proved to be just that!

This weekend I'm off to Edinburgh for a couple of gigs at Jongleurs, and the line-up is amazing! Alex Horne, Simon Bligh and the lovely Wil all the way from NYC. I can't wait!

We get to fly up there, and unlike the Upper Class luxury of my last trip, this one is EasyJet from Luton...oh well back to life, back to reality I guess.

Have a good one folks x

Lovely Weekend

It really was, spent in the company of great friends. Originally I'd kept the weekend free because I was planning to be recovering from some plastic surgery, but as I've yet to find the right surgeon to do the work it ended up being just a spare weekend.

Friday saw me checking out some of the new work by Jeff Koons at the Gagosian Gallery...which I loved but there wasn't enough of it!

Bit of a busman's holiday as I toddled off to the Comedy Store to meet up with Gina. Its not long now before she goes off to become a huge, big star in the States on Last Comic Standing (its already begun showing on Paramount), so making the most of her being around.

It's a while since I've seen her do a set, and she was absolutely amazing. Her confidence and the quality of her gags were just so inspiring! Not to mention how fabulous she's looking these days....skinny beeeyatch!

It was a cracking bill at the Store, the lovely John Fothergill once again doing an excellent job as MC, Michael McIntyre, and Phil Nichol. Been a while since I've seen the last two too.

Michael was shocked at the amount of weight both Gina and myself have lost, and exclaimed "Am I now the fattest act on the circuit?!?!?" it was so funny.

We went off and had a bit of Chinese food in between shows, both of us ordering way too much for our now diminished appetites..such a good feeling NOT to clean your plate!

On Saturday I ended up being a 'spare' for Jongleurs. In theory its a money for old rope thing, in that you are on call in case an act is unable to perform at one of the venues. I've done it a couple of times in the past and once I ended up working the other time I just hung out at the Camden venue until I got the all clear about 10pm.

This time I was convinced I was gonna get a call at 9am saying 'get yer ass to Glasgow', and kinda spent the whole day on edge in case I had to dash off at the last minute, like some kind of comedy cavalry. Luckily nothing of the sort happened so at 8pm I was in the dressing room at Camden chatting to Jason Rouse,Tim Clark, Dave Williams, Simon Evans and Zeron Gibson who were all on the bill.

It's a very strange feeling, cos you're aware that a call could come at any moment, so you're kinda hyped up to do a gig, yet at the same time you're not really a part of the night...very odd.

At 10.15 I was told I could stand down, and it was so bizarre, I was more knackered from the release of tension than I woulda been if I'd done a gig!

Sunday was spent with the divine Stephen K Amos. I haven't seen him since the day of my operation four and a half months ago cos he's been in Australia and New Zealand wowing the crowds...he was pretty astounded with my transformation to say the least!



We sat at a little restaurant on the South Bank, had some delicious food and caught up on each other's lives. Things are really taking off for him, he's got a tour coming up in the Autumn, and of course another Edinburgh Festival. It's sooooo brilliant to see him finally getting the recognition he deserves.

Talking of comedy chums, check out these fantastic little movies that my pals Ricky Grover and Keith Dover have made on YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1An99nXhak

It Just Gets Better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I got on the scales this morning and since the middle of January I have lost a total of six stones!!!!!!!!! That's 84lbs or 37kgs!!!!!!! In five months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew that getting the gastric bypass would be "a good thing", and that the weight would come off pretty quickly, but I never expected it to be this incredible!

In a week full of amazing highs and a couple of moderate lows, it's brilliant to end it on a real high. Gawd Bless the NHS!



That's me a week ago in Hong Kong, and half a stone heavier than I am today...aint life grand?

From The Sublime ....

to the downright ridiculous!

So complete with jet-lag and the remenants of my dodgy Hong Kong belly, I found myself in Soho on Tuesday night to do a gig at the Comedy Camp.

It's always a fun gig but my bed was calling me too.

To add to my considerable discomfort I was informed that a critic was coming along to review me...not a proper newspaper one but a website one. This person's opinion has little respect amongst comics, and I knew before they turned up what they would make of me.

I had great fun with the gig, and so did the boys in the audience, and I really wanted to stick around to watch Kitty Flannagan who was closing but I could barely keep my eyes open.

So this afternoon the "critic" finally got around to posting the review. My god! I wasn't expecting to be liked but to read this you woulda thought I'd ripped off their head and shat down their neck then murdered their whole family!!!!!

Such bitterness and bile is soooooo unbecoming in any human being.

Before I did this I used to review bands, and sometimes I was sent to review bands I didn't like, some of them I really really disliked, and while I couldn't rave about them I never went to extremes recording in my displeasure.

To read such nastiness and personal abuse by someone who doesn't know me (if they did it might've been justified!) really saddens me, I hope that this person gets some professional help to deal with whatever terrible thing happened to them in their past. It must be dreadful to be them.

From a Buddhist perspective, this is karmic payback for slagging off Kajagoogoo in Smash Hits in 1983! C'est la vie!

The Final Day

Overnight there was the most amazing electrical storm, and I woke to a very wet view from my hotel window.

Pierre and I discussed going to Lantau Island to visit the Big Buddha, but the thought of climbing 268 steps in the pouring rain was less than appealing.

At breakfast we decided to give it a miss - now I have a reason to come back - and plumped for a return visit to the Ladies' Market, this time armed with our new info about the showrooms. John M appeared and told us we had a late checkout at the hotel...not till 5pm which was a huge result.

Met Pierre in reception an hour later and off we went first of all to change up our wages. It was really throwing it down, my poor umbrella was really getting road tested! I kept back some of my HK Dollars for shoping and changed the rest into sterling, so I wouldn't blow the lot!

In the market we were soon enticed up some back stairs to a locked room. The door was opened and it really was an Aladdin's Cave! Every kind of 'designer' handbag a gal could wish for! Added to that was a fantastic selection of watches and wallets and gawd knows what. The initial feeling was one of relief at just being out of the relentless rain, then it was euphoria as I picked up a silver Louis Vuitton wallet, a Dior Gaucho handbag, a sweet little Chloe one and a black Chanel watch. I was like a shark in a feeding frenzy! The whole thing took me no more than 10 minutes and that included the bartering! I was pleased with the price I paid for it all, tho I'm sure I coulda got it cheaper. This way me and my new friend were both happy.

Pierre got himself all watched up too, then he went off to meet the two Johns who were going computer shopping in Wan Chai, but not before he bought himself an entire new outfit cos his original one was soaking wet. The sight of him stripping off completely behind a Paul Frank Julius towel in the middle of the market and the noise of the girl holding the towel giggling hysterically are two things that'll stay with me forever!

It was getting on for 3pm and by now my white top was soooooo wet I coulda entered an over 40's wet t-shirt competition, not to mention the bizarre brown stains appearing on it where my Johnsons Holiday Skin had washed off in the rain, so I gave the computers a miss and headed back to the hotel to dry off and get ready for the flight home.

Luckily I had one top left so after another shower, I got re-dressed and did my best to dry my trainers with the hairdryer. Then came the time I'd been dreading, I had to somehow get everything I'd bought into my case!

Got it all in easily enough, but when it came time to close it, there was no way. It ended up with me straddling the damn thing and bouncing up and down while at the same time trying to get the locks to catch. Twenty minutes later it was done.

John M took us to the City Check-In, which meant we didn't have to schlepp our cases around. When we asked about the upgrades we were told that it was a very full flight and there were no guarantees. She then asked us for a pecking order should one seat become available, and both the boys said to her to give it to me! I was soooo touched! And relieved.

We walked round to the pier to take the Star Ferry to Kowloon, John was taking us to the Temple St Night Market before we went off to the airport. Here's the Pier and the views from the ferry:






The market was fabulous! Apart from the stalls selling all kinds of weird and wonderful things, there were fortune tellers, food stalls, everything! I got my fortune told by a bird! A feathered one not the dolly kind. Aparently I am going to have a good life and if I get sick I must remember to see a Professional Doctor rather than a some bloke down the pub.

We sat and had a beer in the middle of it all before it was time to catch the super fast train to the airport.

Once again we had invites to the lounge, so had dinner there before boarding. It was yummy!

At the very last minute, one Premium Economy seat was found and true to their word the boys let me have it gawd bless them!

During the flight, in between the endless movies I watched back to back I reflected on this trip. I am one of the luckiest people in the world you know. Getting this trip in the first place was amazing, everything about it, the hotel, the gigs, everyone we met were all wonderful, but most of all John Fothergill and Pierre Hollins are two of the most incredible people to go away with. They're great company, there was no clashes of ego, no wrong words and no pressure of any kind. Faaaaaaabulous!

Day Four

Saturday morning and it was actually dry! Not sunny due to the massive cloud cover, but warm and dry...yayyyyyyy!

We got a cab round to Stanley Market on the hunt for bargains and/or souveniers. It was probably the most touristy part I'd seen so far, bit like Portobello Market but hotter. My mind wasn't really on bargain hunting so much as staking out available loos. I'd developed a bit of a dodgy tummy and was praying I wouldn't get caught short.

The market done and dusted, we found a lovely beach-front cafe for a spot of lunch (for John who missed breakfast) and a cold drink (for Pierre and I, who didn't). Here's the view



The skies opened once again and it was our cue to head back to the hotel. A much needed nap saw me fighting fit and raring to go come gig time.

John M who runs the shows had arrived from his gigs in Tokyo so I finally got to meet the man responsible for my fabulous trip. What a great guy and a good laugh.

Another cracking gig, three out of three, fabulous!

Went for a little wander round Wan Chai after the show, Pierre kept me company while I had some 'proper' Chinese food, then we met the others and went to an Irish pub which was practically empty. At least we could chat. John M brought a couple of mates along and one of em told me that it's perfectly safe to go off to one of the showrooms to see the handbags. She said they're like Aladdin's Cave! That's an option for tomorrow then.

Day Three

By Friday morning, a combination of jet-lag, over excitement and dodgy tummies had overtaken the gang, so we all spent the day doing our own thing.

For me it was a chance to indulge in one of my favourite girly pastimes...pointless browsing! I got a cab to the Times Square shopping centre near Causeway Bay, and despite the perpetual rain, spent the next four hours wandering from shop to shop.

Times Square was full of mainly western shops and therefore no really great bargains to be had, tho I did debate buying a Marc Jacobs necklace watch which was £20 cheaper than I'd seen it in Selfridges in Birmingham a week ago, but as I am still loving my Techno white ceramic and diamonds one, decided against it. I strolled back out into the rain, popping in and out of all kinds of bizarre little shops - including one that sold nothing but chopsticks! - before giving in to my real passion.

I found a branch of Watson's Chemists, which I'd discovered in Thailand last year. I think it's an Aussie company and is a bit like Boots, but their shelves are stocked with all kinds of amazing potions and lotions, the like of which you never see here. It's almost as excellent as Duane Reade the American drugstore chain.

Soon my basket was filled with all kinds of strange things ... a whitening moisturiser from Olay, a face mask that actually is a mask and makes you look like Hannibal Lecter, bizarre breath mints, the best tweezers in the world ever, and two bottles of my favourite Phyto shampoo which were less than a tenner each, but cost over £20 at home. I was in hog heaven!

Back at the hotel I dried off and chilled for a bit. I even contemplated taking a swim but was told it wasn't open cos of the rain. Later when I met up with Pierre he told me he did manage to get a swim but had to sign a legal disclaimer that if he got struck by lightening he wouldn't sue the hotel!

The gig was another cracker and was rammed with people. We all had an amazing time, and after the show met John Fothergill's twin!



We were served yet another wonderful Indian meal on the terrace, which we followed up with a swift half in a pub in Wan Chai. No covers band in here tho, instead the floorshow was a bunch of drunken ex-pats having a row with a Chinese guy...not pleasant.

Boy those hotel beds are comfy!

Hong Kong Day Two

Breakfast in this hotel is a sumptuous affair, both Chinese and western cuisine on offer. To be honest there was so much food on display it was a bit overwhelming! I decided on scrambled eggs, toast and fruit juice and the bit I managed to eat was delicious.

Pierre had been there since 9.30 - grazing - and we made our plans to head out exploring. A couple of hours later we were on our way to the Central MTR station to get the tube to Mong Kok for the Ladies' Market. I was on the hunt for handbags, I suspect the boys were secretly hoping it was a different kind of Ladies Market!

Obviously the counterfeiting laws are stronger here than in Bangkok, because there was very little on display. Every stall had catalogues full of just about every designer bag in the world, ever, but to see them for real you had to go into a showroom somewhere off the main street. I had visions of being wrapped up in a rug and shipped off somewhere as part of the white slave trade, so declined the numerous offers.

I did manage to stock up on insense, which I am sure cost way more than my quick mental reckoning came to, but I got ten bags of sweet smelling cones, the like of which you can't get here at home.

It was raining, aparently June is the wettest month of the year here, and it was living up to the statistics so far. We found a little cafe that seemed to specialise in melon products, and John and I had the best tasting Watermelon juice ever!

Wandering down Nathan Road, John found an electronics shop and got himself the coolest digital camera for around £50 less than it would be at home. We had lunch in an Italian restaurant, then headed back to the hotel for a pre-gig nap.

It's bizarre, until then I'd kinda forgotten the main reason we were here!

I was a bit nervous as I waited to go on, but the audience seemed really great, and John was doing an excellent job as MC, so as it turned out I'd no need to worry at all. I had a cracker! What a relief!

Whenever you do a run somewhere the first gig is always the most pressure, you don't know the room, or the crowd, and if you f**k up you still have to go back for two more nights! I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it now! Added to the usual pressure this time was the desire to do really well so that I would be able to come back again at some point in the future.

Pierre had a cracker too, and then after the gig we were treated to a feast of Indian food outside on the terrace. The food is probably the best I've ever tasted, and the view....breathtaking. It's like being in a movie! All the incredible buildings both on the Hong Kong Island side and the Kowloon side are all lit up...it's like a Pink Floyd light show!

After we'd eaten, we took a stroll down to Wan Chai, and ended up in a bar called Dusk till Dawn watching a Chinese covers band who were fantastic! The majority of the punters were ex-pats, and I have to say that people here have the most unusual pallour...people much younger than me have this alcoholic glow about them. I guess it must be a pretty hard drinking lifestyle. Its been a long time since I looked like the healthiest person in the room!

Day One

Soooo the journey began with sheer luxury - no not the Heathrow Express, tho that's pretty painless - we had invites to the Virgin Clubhouse. That's the Upper Class Lounge.

My god, it's breathtaking! There's a Cowshed Spa, Bumble and Bumble hairdressers, endless food and drink of all varieties and a really cool place where you can sit and have a fag without feeling like a leper.

I was the first one to arrive, and really could not believe how amazing it was. Added to that was the upgrade to Premium Economy, which made me both excited and relaxed at the same time. I texted the boys to tell em about the upgrade, and it wasn't long before Pierre Hollins joined me.

We ate, drank and chatted...what a perfect way to begin a journey! It's gonna make my next flight on EasyJet all the more depressing!

John Fothergill arrived and we toasted each other with a glass of champagne. Soon it was time to board the flight. John and I were sat next to each other, and it wasn't long before both of us fell fast asleep. There was a massive choice of movies and Casino Royale held my attention brilliantly (something about Daniel Craig in trunks that'll do that for a gal), however An Inconvenient Truth send me back off into the land of nod, shame really as I am sure its a great film. My nicotine patches did their job pretty well and it wasn't till I was watching Sienna Miller trying to be Edie Sedgewick in Factory Girl and chainsmoking her way through the entire movie that I really, really wanted a fag!

Passport control at Hong Kong Airport takes a bit of time, in fact it was over an hour to get through to the other side. We were met by a driver from the gig with some news. As John and I were late additions to the bill our visas were all done at the last minute. That meant we actually had to leave Hong Kong and re-enter.

We were dropped at the hotel and given a chance to dump our stuff. What a hotel it was! Totally high tech, luxuriously furnished and decorated, Le Meridien @ Cyberport is pretty special indeed. Sadly it's on the other side of the island, and the whole area is like a ghost town! Having said that, the peace and quiet is pretty welcome at times, nice pool too!



From there we cabbed it to the Viceroy, the venue for the gig. Rajeev the owner had made sure that there was some delicious food and drink waiting to re-invigorate us, then John and I were sent off to sort out the passport thing.

The easiest way was a ferry to Macau which would take an hour each way. Neither John nor I was exactly looking forward to it, as we were both pretty jet-lagged. The pair of us fell fast asleep for the entire hour's journey.



Macau is the gambling capital of China and as you can see from the photo, the Vegas casinos are steaming in now. Neither of us felt much like placing any bets, as by the time we arrived it was 11pm and it felt like we'd been travelling forever, so we got a cold drink, smoked a couple of fags, and turned right round to get back to Hong Kong with the visas now stuck in our passports.

A cab ride from the Ferry Port across the island to the hotel was quick enough, and it was thrilling to see the sights in the flesh so to speak...Hong Kong is like being in a movie!



By the time I unpacked I was too shagged out to shower, so it was a quick cup of green tea and fast asleep. What an amazing first day.

Six Days Later

Back from Hong Kong, been in the house a couple of hours and already unpacked and got the washer started.

Feeling absolutely exhausted due to extreme lack of sleep, but have to say I just had the most amazing time!

Great company in the form of John Fothergill, Pierre Hollins and John Moorhead, great gigs, incredible shopping and a fabulous city!

Will write more when I can string a proper sentence together!

Hong Kong Here I Come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooooo after waking at the ungodly hour of 6am for no reason at all, I find myself at 2pm with everything done. The flat is cleaned from top to bottom, clothes are ironed and packed, my faaaaaaabulous Nike iD trainers have arrived - a vision in pink, blue and silver, just like I designed em online, my bills are all paid and all loose bits of paperwork are done.

Hmmmm what to do now? All I have to do is shower and dress, which will take no more than an hour.

We have passes to the Virgin Upper Class Lounge so I'm very tempted to leave for the airport very early just to take advantage of that, apparently it's like Heaven on earth with free food and drink.

Sod it, I'm gonna hit the shower and get off.

Have a good week folks xxxx

A Perfect Weekend

So there I was in Birmingham for the weekend doing Jongleurs there.

I love playing in this city, the audiences are brilliant, don't take themselves too seriously, and are always up for a laugh - handy thing that, in a comedy audience.

The hotel - the Copthorne - is a 'proper' hotel, not a hostel for marauding gangs of men and women desperate to have fun at any cost, so I had a gorgeous room with a massive comfy bed, and staff who understand the meaning of the words 'service industry'. It's in between the shops and the gig, which is perfect too as a weekend in Brum ALWAYS involves shopping!

This weekend I was on a real mission, I needed to get some VERY hot weather clothes for my forthcoming trip, not to mention a swimming cossie that fits the new smaller me. So Friday morning, after a cracking gig the previous night, especially Addy Van Der Borg who was just on fire, I was up and out early.

I can't begin to describe what an amazing feeling it is to go into regular clothes shops, pick something up that looks tiny, try it on and have it fit beautifully. As a result, The Gap, Oasis, H&M and trusty old Primark all copped for a hefty proportion of my weekend's earnings. I got shirts, t-shirts, a denim jacket, linen trousers and tops, a cossie, just about everything I could possibly need in a place that has temperatures of 30 celcius and 80% humidity at this time of year.

On Friday I also hooked up with my pal Alisdair from The Glee club, who hasn't seen me for aaaaages. He was so gobsmacked at my weight loss that he couldn't stop grinning all through lunch. We went to Yo Sushi in Selfridges which was perfect for me as I could have small portions and get some much needed protein into me.

That's the only downside of this op as far as I can tell, My stomach has trouble taking in and absorbing enough nutrients, and one of the side effects of not enough protein is that your hair begins to fall out. Luckily for me I had lots of hair, so it's not noticible to anyone but me and my hairdresser at the moment and I have no intention of waiting till everyone notices before treating it, so after lunch I shelled out an absolute fortune on Phyto products which my Doc reckons should help.

Friday and Saturday night's gigs were amazing too with Geoff Norcott replacing Addy. If you haven't seen Geoff yet, make it your business to do so as soon as you can...he's fantastic! He really set the tone for a good night of comedy on both nights. Added to that, he's great to be with in the dressing, which is always a massive bonus.

Saturday I treated myself to a cool new digital camera as my old one gave up the ghost in Paris. Now I know I could get one cheaper probably in Hong Kong, but I wanna hit the ground running - photo wise - when I get there on Wednesday.

Saturday afternoon brought a pleasant treat in the form of a visit to the hotel from Steve Harris, who I haven't seen in a very long time. Seems I'm not the only one who's been undergoing a transformation weight-wise. He's lost four and a half stones and looks faaabulous!

Last night my mate (and former Dexy's bassist) Pete Williams came along to the gig with a friend of his. I haven't seen him since early last year, and he too was amazed by the 'new' me. After the gig, the three of us went off and found a quiet pub just off Broad St and sat catching up till gone midnight...I can't remember the last time I did that, and I had such a good time.

Got home today after a pain-free journey on Virgin, to find my itinerary and E-ticket waiting in my email inbox, a perfect end to a perfect weekend.