Borneo, Baby!!!!!!

Soooo after my lovely gigs at The Glee Club, it was a mad dash back to London. I managed to squeeze in a final sunbed (I know they're not healthy but they don't half fade scars! Plus I'd paid for a course and this was the last one), then it was back to the flat to edit down my clothes for the trip. So far I'd already removed about half of what I thought I 'might' need! Another four t-shirts came out and that was me down to 20kg! Cool.

Time for a quick shower and then it was on with my trusty Maharishi combats. These were the trousers that were gonna prevent any kind of Cheryl Cole-style 'malaria'. They were also the heaviest item of clothing, which is why I'm travelling in them.

Freak that I am, I left the house about 5pm to get to Heathrow. I probably could've walked there and still been in time for check in, but I have a fear of being on the last minute, I hate rushing! So I sauntered to Paddington, got the train, and was at the airport by 6.30. Luckily the check in was open and I got my first treat of the trip. I'd requested an aisle seat online, yet for some reason they'd all gone. The nice lady at Malaysia Airlines gave me the aisle on the Emergency exit row with no prompting at all! Usually they charge extra for that seat! It was also good news for whoever was gonna be sitting next to me cos I planned to Nytol it up and sleep the whole way, with the extra room they'd be able to get up for a wee at some point in the 12 hour flight!

A bit of a first for me, I bought nothing but a coffee in the departure lounge! I usually always find something I 'need' be it perfume, or a pair of sunglasses or a handbag. This time I didn't even look. All I ask myself these days is 'can I use it on the ashram?'. The answer is inevitably, 'no'.

I found myself next to a honeymoon couple on the plane. Bless them, they'd only been married for 48 hours, and were so loved up! Hope they're having fun! The entire flight more or less passed by in an over-the-counter-sleeping-aid haze with the occasional wake up for dinner and a loo-break. I did keep my eyes open long enough to write a blog about The Glee Club, but that was it. All the magazines and books stayed in my rucksack. God bless Nytol.

I landed at KLIA at 5.30pm on Monday afternoon (Kuala Lumpur time), then I had to make my way to the domestic airport for my flight to Borneo. Now I could've been a pussy and spent on a taxi, but in the spirit of the adventurer I hope to become I found the bus that the locals use, and boarded that. I spent 50p instead of a tenner! Go me!

I'd already checked in online so I just had to drop my bag off, then it was more time-killing as I had a couple of hours before my flight. I found the Starbucks and again, being adventurous, skilled the cafe latte in favour of a green tea latte. As I watched him scoop this nuclear green powder into a cup of hot milk I began to regret my decision! Still they had free wi-fi and I could check emails and post my blog while I sipped at it. Funnily enough, it tasted about as good as it looks!


Luckily my flight was called before I could finish it - result! - and a mere two and a half hours later I was touching down at Kota Kinabalu International Airport (I know!). It was now gone midnight, officially Tuesday, and I was officially a bit fooked! I'd pre-booked a limo from the hotel and boy was I glad I had, cos it was a bit late to be haggling for cab fares!

My lovely driver was waiting with a cool bottle of mineral water and an even cooler towel, both much needed as the humidity hit me like a hot wet towel as I left the airport. Forty-five minutes later I was pulling into the hotel and it sure lives upto its publicity. Very glamourous! As knackered as I was I managed to unpack before collapsing into bed at 2.30am.

Needless to say I missed breakfast the next morning, but I did wake up to this view!

I didn't miss the hotel's own Orangutans getting their afternoon feed at 2pm either. I was Deet'ed up to the eyeballs and covered from head to foot cos of the mozzies, and it was worth it! There's four graduates from Sepilok living in the hotel's Sanctuary, all between three and four years old and all totally adorable! One was a proper little showman swinging right over our heads, and making a grab for one woman's red carrier bag! I wish I thought of that!


If it wasn't for the bugs and hunger I could've stayed there all day watching them, sadly once the smaller Leaf monkeys turned up the Orang utans scarpered! It was almost as if they were frightened of these tiny creatures!

I spent the remainder of the afternoon swimming and chilling by the pool. I'm loving this heat!

Goodbye To The Glee

So the last two weekends have been spent saying au revoir to several very special people in my life; the staff at both the Birmingham and Cardiff Glee Clubs.

In the last 16 years since Birmingham opened I have been gigging there on a regular basis. Not as regular as I would have liked, but then I know I am not alone in that sentiment!

From the very first weekend I did with Ivor Dembina as MC and Ian Stone as headliner I can honestly say I’ve never felt more welcome at any comedy club anywhere! Onstage and off.

On the Saturday night of that weekend Ian and I sat with a group of girls who were out and making merry. It was the end of January, and we were all getting pretty sloshed. One of the girls leaned over to Ian and slurred the legendary words “do yao know who yao look loik? Yao look loik Tom Cruise, yao do”. I’d just taken a mouthful of Budweiser and sadly sprayed it all over the table, before collapsing with laughter.

Over the years staff have come and gone, and each of them were special and kind in their own ways. People like Matt who ran the bar in the early days and presided over a very drunken after-hours session that Tim Vine, Dylan Moran and myself had. That night was special cos it saw Tim introducing me to the delights of the notorious Mr Egg. As I recall, that night they were running low on eggs.

In the early days I got to play there a lot, one year I recall making 12 different trips up there, all over them fabulous. There were the all girl bills, one of which was the delightful Jo Enright, Mandy Knight, Helen Austin and me. Mandy and Helen had had some kind of falling out previously and so sisterhood was not present in the dressing room that night. We all had cracking gigs though.

The club is wonderful for all kinds of reasons. It’s run properly for a start. Yes, they’re a business and yes they need to sell food and beer and make money, but the focus has always been on the comedy. All of the technical needs are met, thanks to the ever-fantastic Tim who makes sure everyone In the audience can see and hear what’s going on onstage.

Over the years the dressing rooms have improved enormously. I think initially it was a case of the comics chilling in the staff cloakroom, but then one year Jack Dee was coming road test new material and suddenly we all benefitted from a shiny new dressing room converted especially for his residency.

The two people who make sure that all of our needs are met are Alastair and Griffy, who really are the Hinge and Bracket of comedy. They’re always there to greet you as you arrive, always smiley no matter what might be going on in their personal lives, always genuinely happy to see you.

Over all these years it really has become like visiting family for me. A dysfunctional family of course, but family all the same.

Cardiff hasn’t been going as long, but it’s also endeared itself to me. Eight years ago Lee who ran the bar at Birmingham (Matt having left) was sent west to oversee operations, and his warmth quickly made the club yet another date in the diary that I’ve looked forward to with huge anticipation. I’ve never once been disappointed.
There’s something about the way the clubs are run, that rubs off on the audiences too. These are the same people that go to comedy every where else (well everywhere else there’s not a Glee Club that is), but here they behave themselves. There’s no nastiness, any heckling usually adds to the show, and hanging out with them afterwards is a dream.

Of course I cannot write about these clubs without mentioning the man who made them possible, the lovely Mark Tughan. When Birmingham first opened he was an eager young man finding his way in the world. As the years have gone by, he’s grown up, gotten married and even had a child. He’s also opened another two clubs in Oxford and Nottingham, the latter of which sadly I’ve not had the pleasure of playing.

I have so many wonderful Glee Club memories, enough to fill several blogs, or even a book. Weeks of Christmas shows that actually made me look forward to Christmas, New Year’s Eve gigs that were better nights out than any I’d had pre-comedy, the laughs offstage and on.

As much as I am excited about my newest adventures, I am more than a bit sad to be saying goodbye to my friends at The Glee Club.

Bye guys, and thank you xx

Oh My Days!!!!!!!

If you are really eagle-eyed you will spot me dancing at the side of the stage in this old TOTP clip of Dexys!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJc_q8eH2ng&feature=player_embedded#!

Kulcha Innit?

So far this week I've seen a movie, listened to some excellent poetry and watched a 'serious' play in the West End. Check me out!

On Monday I'd just about recovered from the gastric flu that caused me to cancel my gigs last weekend, and so I made my way back to yoga. It's been an eternity since I was last there, my CELTA course and surgery on my stomach and my hand over the summer meant that any kind of exercise was out of the question and so it was with some trepidation that I went into the class. My god! It really doesn't take long to get out of shape does it?

Ninety minutes later, I was a bit sweaty, quite achy, but feeling more vibrant than I have done in a long time. It's good to be back.

Yoga was followed by a trip to the cinema. I'd decided to ignore the critics and go and see Eat, Pray, Love for myself. After all, this is going to be my story too I hope! I'd made my plans long before I was aware of the book, and when I read Liz Gilbert's account of her year travelling and 'reconnecting' with the world a part of me was pissed off because I realised my plans to write about my experiences were a little less original now! Loved the book though.

Now, while the makers of the movie have 'tinkered' with some of the facts, I have to say I loved the movie too. It made me very excited for my travels to come, especially if there's a Javier Bardem-alike waiting for me at the end of the rainbow!

That night saw me at Kensington Town Hall with my pal for the launch of Black History Month. The Royal Borough decided to launch it with an audience with Linton Kwesi Johnson. Back in the punk days I was a huge fan of his and had quite a few of his albums.

This time there were no musicians backing him, just this rather stately looking man in a fairly posh room reciting his poems and talking about his experiences. It was spell-binding. So much so that I paid a visit to iTunes the next morning and downloaded BassCulture and Forces of Victory. You should too.

Then last night saw me meeting up with my old pal Stephen K Amos who is enjoying a rare couple of days off (the man never stops working!). We went to the Novello Theatre to see Onassis. It starred Robert Lindsay, who was fabulous, though as this is still the preview stage his accent veered from Greek to Mancunian at times - sometimes within the one sentence! Jackie O had similar problems nailing the Boston accent too. Maria Callas was fantastic, but I was sad they didn't recall the tapeworm story. The staging was terrific and the ensemble did a cracking job. It's a trifle wordy, but then Aristotle Onassis led a helluva life, probably too much of a life to condense into a couple of hours. It was a great night at the theatre though.