You Swine!!!!!!!!!

So here's a lesson in taking the piss and karma.

Last weekend I was working at Up The Creek - where I had two brilliant gigs btw - and on the Friday night there was a woman on the front row who was a swine flu survivor. I actually thought that just breathing the same air as her would make me immune! On Saturday night the fabulous Jason Wood was on and he is obsessed about catching it. He's got anti-bac gel everywhere and even wears the masks! I was teasing him saying 'Oh it's no big deal! If you're gonna catch it you will and if you won't, you won't'.

Cut to Tuesday night and I noticed my night sweats were far more hardcore than they have been - more than menopause. I woke up on Wednesday not feeling all that great and actually changed my plans from a session at the gym to a session in TopShop, but even in there I wasn't feeling that great. My chest hurt, I was coughing and sneezing, I was hotter than usual, and had the beginnings of a headache. By Wednesday night I was aching everywhere - even my eye sockets! - and the sneezing and coughing was getting worse.

Thursday morning I had the shits and felt really sick on top of all the other symptoms, so went online to check the NHS Direct site, as I ticked box after box I began to feel a bit panicky. The result was "phone your GP". I did and a few hours later I was taking my first Tamiflu capsule.

I had to cancel my gigs at Camden Jongleurs this weekend. I doubt I could've made it to the stage, but once you have this you're not supposed to leave the house anyway. As much as I hate losing money, I couldn't live with myself if I'd infected my colleagues.

It really is a fucker tho, apart from all the usual flu symptoms cranked up to 11, I've also got this weird spacing out thing where its like I've been in a trance for a few minutes before I'm back in the room.

Oh well, at least I get to catch up on all my missed sleep, and I've learned not to take the piss!

More Banksy!!!!!!!!

I guess Banksy shows are like buses, you wait ages for one then a bunch come along at once!

The old Theatre Museum in Covent Garden is playing host to a show called Please Love Me, a selection of works found in and around London over the last 10 years. Its on till 25th and is unofficial apparently, but its great to see the pieces!









Fabulous stuff!

Banksy Vs Bristol Museum

I went today. Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The most amazing exhibition I have ever seen! Please Mr Banksy "borrow" one of my jokes and give me the McNugget Chicks as payment!!!!!



or this one



or this one!

What The Dickens?????

So, Friday night - with Blur's The Universal still running round my brain - I took a train to Chatham, to do a gig for Jongleurs On The Road.

Most of these gigs are in theatres or arts centres and while I don't do too many of them, I've yet to have a dodgy one. In fact they're usually really lovely.

This one was in a place called Dickens World. As in Charles Dickens. The bloke wot wrote Oliver Twist, who never lived a day of his life in Chatham!

I'd had all kinds of warnings from my peers about what a horrible gig it is, but I refused to let their words get to me, I was looking forward to it. After all, a Charles Dickens inspired theme park has gotta be pretty amazing, right?

Misconception number one is that its a theme park. From the outside it looks like a huge Allied Carpets superstore. It blends in beautifully with all the other units on this nondescript retail park.
Inside, it went from faceless lobby, to country style bar, to full on film set space that looked very much like they'd inherited it from Lionel Bart's Oliver, then through to the Britannia Theatre where the show was due to take place. This part of the building looked like another gig I've done a few times - The Swan Theatre in High Wycombe -all completely bizarre!

The bill was strong - fabulous Andrew Bird, wonderful Orangutan expert Noel Britten, and new to me but not to showbiz act Kev Orkian (its an abridged version of his real name apparently, not a play on Jack Kevorkian the suicide doctor) - the audience were really lovely, and the show was really good fun.

I have to give a shout out to the staff all of whom were so helpful and generous and made us all feel a bit special. What a treat!

Last night saw me back Up The Creek - I was there last weekend as MC and had two blinding nights - but this time I was there to do a set. It's been ages since I've done a set anywhere and I was nervous. As a compere you can really own this room, so there was a risk I might die on my ass doing a turn. As it turns out, that was most definitely not the case. I had a blast, I f**king loved it, and from now on I am going to be doing more sets. Sometimes its nice to have all the glory for yourself!

Even tho I could've buggered off as soon as I was done, I didn't. I stuck around and watched one of my comedy faves Otiz Canneloni MC - magnificent as always - as well as two more of my favourite men on the circuit Paul Sinha and Craig Campbell - both of whom were a joy to watch.

What a cracking weekend!

Golden Oldies

This year seems to be all about the comebacks for me. Musically speaking that is.

I started the year with the wonderous Grace Jones at the Roundhouse, followed that up with The Specials at Brixton Academy who exceeded all my expectations and then some, and then last week me and my pal Paul headed off to Hyde Park to witness the triumphant return to London of Blur.

I'd bought the tickets last year and got them cos I kinda felt I should - if that makes sense - I was a fan but not a fanatic you know? To tell the truth I was as much a fan of Damon and Graham's solo efforts as I was of them as Blur.

All that changed when I saw them live last week. It was such a joyous celebration. A celebration of music in general, of their music in particular, of life, of London, of humanity. All of which sounds a bit soppy I know but the gig just had such a great vibe.

I really hope that's not the end of their reunion, given the type of things Graham and Damon have been up to in the intervening years, I think a new Blur album would be something pretty awesome!

I don't think they will stop there, they looked like they were having way too much fun. Alex James never looked as happy yakking about cheese as he did jumping up and down with a fag hanging out of his mouth playing at being a rockstar again! Dave and Graham looked a bit overwhelmed, and Damon had moist eyes more than once, when he didn't have the biggest shit eating grin on his face that is!



We want more Blur please.